Snacking Almonds

You can smell them, can't you?

Well, I suppose it was bound to happen. Your fat guy has gotten too fat for his own liking. Last time I weighed myself, I clocked in at roughly 265 lbs. And that’s just too much.

Got pretty hair, though.

So, I’m affecting a few, small, dietary changes. I’m working my way toward drinking a gallon of water every day. Smaller portions are going to be eaten. Smarter snack choices are going to be made.

And almonds are a pretty good snack choice.

Now, let me qualify myself a little. I’m a formally trained pastry chef. My training was at Le Cordon Bleu College of Culinary Arts, Twin Cities. One of the classes required was on the topic of nutrition.

I am not a nutritionist. Anyone with a library card and/or internet access can learn as much, if not more, as I did in that class.

But I’m the one writing this blog, so I’m going to share a little something.

We’re making almonds today.

I’m not going to bother you with scads of nutritional information here, except to say that the little buggers are high in protein and Vitamin E, and rich in vital minerals, including calcium, copper, manganese, and zinc.

And yes, they’re full of calories, too. Keep that in mind when you’re snacking.

We’re starting with ginger almonds, for our spicy friends.

If you have a nut allergy, then this is obviously not for you, and for that I apologize. The struggle is real. I'm sorry.

Here’s what you’ll need.

·         One pound of prewashed, blanched almonds. You can get them at the store.

·         Two teaspoons of olive oil

·         One teaspoon sesame oil

·         One tablespoon each of Worcestershire sauce and soy sauce.

·         One dried arbol chili. This one is optional. Take off the stem, shake the seeds out, then break up the pepper. DO NOT TOUCH YOUR EYES OR ANY OTHER SENSITIVE PART OF YOUR BODY (ooh-la-la!) UNTIL YOU’VE THOROUGHLY SCRUBBED YOUR HANDS.

·         ONE TABL sorry about that. One tablespoon of ground ginger

·         One teaspoon of kosher salt (and yes, it does need to be kosher for reasons we’ll discuss in a minute).

Hardware is minimal compared to some previous entries.

·         Saute pan.

·         Parchment lined baking pan. If you have a Silpat (commercially available multi-use silicon baking pan liner), that’s good, too.

·         Mixing bowl.

·         Wooden spoon.

Preheat your oven to 250 degrees Fahrenheit, or 120 Celsius.

Your ginger and salt go into the mixing bowl. Stir them up with whatever you want to. I like a fork. Make sure you have a reasonably even distribution of ingredients here.

Why kosher salt? Because the flakes are more delicate then the hard, rock like cubes of table salt. They break down faster and incorporate more quickly into your food. I tend to prefer using kosher salt for my cooking for those reason. Usually table will work just fine, though. All that having been said, kosher will definitely work better for this application.

Warm your oil in the pan over medium heat. When it starts to shimmer, add your broken up pepper pieces. Warm up your pepper pieces until you can smell them 30-45 seconds. Should smell like a good Indian restaurant.

Add your almonds and toss or stir until they’re cover with oil and slightly toasted. Pour in your soy and Worcestershire sauces. When they hit the hot pan they’ll sizzle and steam. You want that. Keep tossing or stirring until the almonds start to get dry. Your pan will be sticky, but don’t worry about that. It’ll come out in the wash.

Pour your sticky nuts (don’t be gross, people) onto your parchment or Silpat lined baking pan and put into the oven for twenty minutes to dry. Remember to rotate the pan halfway around halfway through baking to ensure even drying.

Time’s up, take them out and let them cool in the pan to room temperature or until you decide you’re hungry enough to try them.

Good, aren’t they? Spicy, gingery, and super good for you.

Also, that's Alton Brown's recipe. That's why I didn't put up any pictures.

But this one was OK?

But what if we don’t like spicy? Or plagiarism?

Don’t put the pepper in the oil, for starters. In place of the ginger you can use a tablespoon of your favorite dried herbs, ground up in one of those small electric coffee grinders that are actually terrible for grinding coffee. Mine is by Krupps.

Don’t have a coffee grinder? That’s ok, you can find ground herbs at the grocery store.

What about if you have a sweet tooth? And want to try a recipe I made up? We can sure do that, too.

It’s the same technique, only this time:

·         Two tablespoons of peanut oil

·         Two tablespoons of coffee concentrate (how to make your own in a minute)

·         One teaspoon of kosher salt.

·         One teaspoon granulated sugar.

·         Three tablespoons each of powdered sugar and cocoa powder.

·         One pound of almonds.

Peanut oil in the pan to warm. Almonds in the pan to toast.

Dissolve the sugar and salt in the coffee concentrate (we’re still going to get to that) and pour over the almonds. Toss or stir with a wooden spoon until dry. 

Coffee concentrate. Looks like soy sauce, doesn't it/
Don't try to drink it.

Your pan will look something like this when you're done with it. That's fine., That's what you want. Go ahead and wash it.

Transfer bowl with powdered sugar and cocoa powder mixture. Toss to completely cover. Finish in 250F/120C oven for twenty minutes. Turn pan ten minutes in to ensure even drying.

Hard to do an action shot one handed.

Take a good look at them. Really think about them. Consider, if you will, the cocoa nut. Consider its tree.

Coffee concentrate. This one is tricky. Steel yourself. Get your affairs in order. Tell your loved ones how you feel before you start. Have the priest on speed dial. Wear a condom.

Step one – brew up a full pot of coffee.

Step two – pour it into a large sauce pan.

Step three – put it on the stove and, over medium-high heat, reduce down to a pint.

Did you make it out alive?

Why do that? Because I’ve only ever seen coffee concentrate for sale at beer brewing supply stores, and it’s stupid expensive there. Get yourself some good quality grounds at the store and make your own. Or grind your own beans! I do. Works great.

And what do you do with the stuff? Do you home brew beer? We’ve already established that it’s a possible flavoring agent. You could make coffee flavored ice cream, devil’s food cake, coffee flavored buttercream, all kinds of stuff.

I suppose you could drink it, too. Whole pot of coffee’s worth of caffeine in a one-pint container. Make sure you clear the route to the bathroom of any obstacles before you imbibe.

I’ll restate something I said earlier in this piece – there are calories at play here. I’d advise picking up a whole bunch of one or two-ounce containers and storing your almonds in those. Pull one out in the morning, that’s snacks for the day.

So there you have it, takes about half an hour, front to back, and you’ve got yourself little nuggets of nutrition and chewing satisfaction. Experiment with flavors, have fun. It’s your kitchen, right?

Just don’t put your knife in the dishwasher.