The Tools of the Craft

Consider Thanksgiving dinner. What’s cooking on that day? Traditionally you have your mashed potatoes and gravy, some kind of dressing, a couple kinds of veggies, sweet potatoes or yams (and they are different, dammit), possibly homemade cranberry sauce, pies, and, of course, a turkey. Now, consider your equipment. You need cutting boards, pans aplenty, mixing bowls, casserole dishes, roasting dishes, pie pans, food processors, a wide array of knives, and probably Papal intervention on your behalf.

We both think you're doing fine.

Or not. We’re not going to handle food today. Instead, we’re going to talk about our tools. As yet, I do not have any kind of corporate sponsorship here, so don’t feel like I’m benefiting from any of this if I mention brand names.

Specifically, we’re going to discuss the basics. Today’s meditation will be about knives, cutting boards, and pans. We’ll concern ourselves with other tools later.

Go look at your pans. They’re probably in that drawer under the oven. 

How thick is the bottom? Bang on it with your finger. Does it ring? Do you think if you smashed someone over the head with it, would they fall down and maybe die? Or just get incredibly annoyed with you and administer a proportionate beating? If you think you're reasonable safe, then it’s too thin, and you’re probably burning your food with it.

A good pan is usually made of stainless steel. Trouble with that is, stainless steel isn’t actually a very good conductor of heat. Give you hot spots. You know what is a good conductor? Aluminum. But that’s not particularly durable. So what do you do? Well, if you’re making decent quality pots and pans, you take an aluminum disk, cover it in stainless steel, and make your pan with that.

That’s why you should get a good, heavy bottomed pan. That aluminum in the base will conduct heat evenly with minimal hotspots. Just remember this little rhyme – if they survive, it’s too thin.

You’ll need a four-quart pan, a two-quart pan, and a skillet. That’s for starters. Says me, at any rate. Feel free to add to your collection as you learn.

Wearever makes a surprisingly decent product for a reasonable price. Yes, they also make brake pads. I assume they’re in a different part of the factory. Recommended for the budget oriented and/or beginners.

What about Calphalon pans? I like them. They make a pretty good saute pan, as well as an omelette pan. If you can find them on sale, I'd say pick them up. Otherwise they can be a little pricey.

What about your cutting board? Tell me you’re not slicing things directly on your laminate countertop. You need a few cutting boards, preferably bamboo or black walnut. A good quality nylon (aka plastic) will do just fine as well. Look for one that’s NSF certified. That means National Sanitation Foundation. You see that NSF tag on the labeling, you’re getting something that can be, under normal working conditions, maintained and kept food-service sanitary. You want one that’s big enough to slice a loaf of bread.

Look for this logo.

My advice is: get a few, of varying sizes, NSF certified, made of some kind of wood. A heavy wood cutting board is naturally antiseptic, so it doesn’t take a whole lot of scrubbing, which is good, because under no circumstances should you be putting it in the dishwasher. The dishwasher is too rough on wood and will cause it to split prematurely. Hand wash only, please.

Now, price wise, you’re in for a little sticker shock. If you want, you can plunk down top dollar on a Boos Block specimen, and if you take very good care of it, it will last you for a long time. Or, you can do an internet search for good quality in your price range. I’d avoid anything off Etsy, as most of those are for displaying, not practical use. Instead, see what’s on Amazon.

Don’t be seduced by restaurant supply stores, either. You can get a good quality one there for a decent price. You can also go insane in those places and pick up items you can’t really use. Keep it simple.

Knives. That’s it, isn’t it? That’s how you’ll be judged, won't you? Got the latest Wusthof Damascus steel? Sure, it costs upwards of two thousand dollars, but quality has its price, right?

Sure does. So does gimmickry. You don’t need it, so keep it simple.

Resist the urge to pick up a block set. They’re expensive, and just full of stuff you won’t use. It’s just a gimmick, and you really don’t need one. So resist.

What do you need? A good chef’s knife. That’s it. Just start with that. Seriously.

Let’s discuss the whys and wherefores of knives. Length of a chef’s knife tends to run from six inches to fourteen inches, depending on what they’re used for. You’re unlikely to be breaking down an entire half of beef, at least not yet, so I wouldn’t worry too much about how big and how many. Figure out what feels best in your hand and works best for your purposes. Daily Chef is an excellent brand of professional quality knives and you can get them at Sam’s Club. I just looked it up online and as of today (10-25-18) you can get a two pack for $15.27, which gets you two knives, an eight inch and a ten-inch. Thing is, though, they’re not terribly sexy. This is not a tool for an artist. It’s for practitioners of the craft. They have a big white polymer handle, the blade is really shiny and insanely sharp and have that NSF logo stamped right there on the blade near the handle. These have my highest recommendation.

I’d avoid anything made of carbon steel. I find them harder to maintain than a stainless steel. Carbon steel needs regular maintenance, which involves running them over a whetstone and honing with a steel every few days. You really want to do that? I sure don’t. Get stainless steel knives, and when they wear out, recycle them and get new ones.

Also, consider the price. That Wusthof Damascus steel for $2K I mentioned a little while ago? What do you think happens when someone who doesn’t know any better drops it and bends the tip? Opens the day’s mail? Cuts up a box? Shoots it though the dishwasher?  They’ll make you a very expensive box cutter that you don’t want to be rid of. What happens if you ding up a fifteen dollar knife? You get it recycled and then go to the store and get a new one. It seems really simple to me.

Now, where does that bad boy go when you’re not using them. Are you letting it bounce around the junk drawer without their safety covers, like a set of disused steak knives, just waiting for someone to blindly fumble around and possibly lose a fingertip in the process? Maybe you like to leave it on the counter where the cat can knock it off and into your daughter’s foot?

Please don't.

You need a magnet board. It attaches to the wall with molly bolts, and looks really cool. You can get a decent one at Walmart or Target. Amazon is a good choice, too.

Let’s discuss my catchphrase, “don’t put your knife in the dishwasher.”

I don’t use the word hate easily, but I hate washing dishes by hand. 

You start off with a mountain of soiled dishes, haphazardly stacked in the sink in such a way as to make Picasso scratch his head.

So, you start unloading the sink onto the counter, possibly kicking up about forty-two million fruit flies in the process, depending on your housekeeping habits. It take a few loads, and dangit if someone didn’t just leave a steak knife right where you’re going to stick yourself in the meaty part of the proximal section (the third that attaches to your palm) of your index finger.

That’s a trip to the ER for stitches, where you’ll be told that you’re going to be admitted to the hospital because you need surgery to repair the tendon you lacerated hauling the dirty dishes out.

But wait! There’s more!

Two days later you go home only to discover that the schmuck who left the steak knife in the sink has left the dishes you were washing on the counter, expecting you to do them once you get home. Now there’s definitely bugs, the house stinks to high heaven, and you have murder in your heart.

Or you can spring for a dishwasher.

But you have to resist the urge to run your knives through it. Ok, your table knives are fine. That ten inch santoku that you just picked up, though? Don’t do it. Hand wash it.

Two reasons why. Firstly, the dishwasher detergent is, by nature, chemically corrosive. If you use powder, like I prefer, it’s also physically abrasive. It will ruin the finish of your handle and the blade as well. Secondly, because the hot, wet, corrosive environment is hard on the sharp edge. Do it too often, and you’ll be in possession of a useless hunk of possibly expensive stainless steel.

Something else to consider – stainless steel actually isn’t. Depending on the blend, your blade might rust, and the hot wet inside the dishwasher can encourage it’s continued degradation.

Rust never sleeps.

So, hand wash your knives, dry them well, and hang them up on your magnet board. Now you’re playing with the big kids.

Also, if the edge dulls, your knife becomes dangerous. You’ll crank that much more pressure on the handle while, let’s say, peeling an orange. The knife will eventually slip, you’ll stick yourself, and now you’re in the ER getting put back together again.

Anthony Bourdain said it best when he said, “The excruciating pain you feel when you sink a knife into your thumb, a lot of that pain really comes from the knowledge that you’re really an idiot.”

I wouldn't follow all of his examples, though.

To sum up, if you’re starting to really cook, or you need a decent set of tools for your budget, don’t be scared to go relatively inexpensive to start. It’s ok to dispose of used up tools, and you can extend their lives by maintaining them properly.

In my experience, the most expensive kitchen items are the ones that cost you the most money for the least benefit. That includes the food you accidentally ruin because the tool wasn’t up to the job, or all the time you wasted trying to get quality work out of a sub par tool.

So, read reviews, compare prices. Educate yourself. Experiment. Go forth and cook good food.

Keep your knife out of the dishwasher.