The Perils of Recipes In the Land of Social Media

That actually looks pretty good, doesn't it?

Anyone with a Facebook account has seen them.

Instagram is rife with them as well.

Twitter is a hive of scum and villainy anyway, so they're actually kind of a bright spot.

Pinterest is not something I actually use, so I don't know. Wouldn't be too surprised, though.

Does anyone still use Live Journal?

What am I on about?

Do please!

Recipes of dubious quality, that's what.

I like the ones that are videos and don't actually share any measurements or times or temperatures.

But my favorites are the ones that share a recipe, and a picture of something only peripherally related to what's being made.

Those are an actual thing.

So, we're going to delve into an intriguing specimen I found on Facebook about a year ago.

It's a little something called Hawk's Bar Room Pickled Eggs and Sausages.

Ok, so up top of this entry? That's the pic that came with the recipe, which is as follows:

HAWK'S BAR ROOM PICKLED EGGS AND SAUSAGE 
2 cups white vinegar
1 cup water
3 tablespoons picklng spice
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon crushed red pepper
6 to 7 squirts Frank's Red Hot Sauce (optional for color or you can use beet juice)
1 tablespoon crushed garlic or powder
1 tablespoon dried onion

Hard boil 18 eggs and boil , then 3 packages Polish sausage until they float. Arrange eggs and sausage in layers, pack to top. take shells of ,Take care not to split eggs. Combine all other ingedients in a medium sauce pan and simmer for 5 minutes.

While still hot, carefully pour brine until full. Put lid on tight shake to mix for 3 days and enjoy!---Hawk---

Go ahead and scan that recipe, then look at the picture again. Where are the sliced jalapenos and onions? Also, that doesn't look at all like 18 eggs, at least not to me.

But, we're going to go for it anyway, following the recipe to the letter.

Now, some of you might already see where this is going. Sit tight, let the rest of us catch up to you.

Go ahead and do what the recipe says, and if you want, use the pickling spice recipe from the last entry.

In the interest of full disclosure, I did make one alteration to the original recipe that I feel compelled to share - I didn't use Polish sausages. They're expensive, and I didn't now how this was going to turn out. Instead, I used a dozen hot dogs from Costco. Everything else is as published.

And what did I get?

A terrible selfie? No.
And yes, my head really is that big.

What I got was not at all what the recipe promised. And that's not a surprise.

That. I got that.

The brine didn't cover the contents of the jar. So I made another batch of brine, per the recipe, and that did the trick. 

How did it taste? Like vinegary eggs and hot dogs. That shouldn't come as a surprise to someone who knows how to pickle.

And let me tell you, my son was madder than a wet cat that I didn't give him a hot dog.

So I cracked open another package and made him lunch. Because I'm a sweetheart. And also, when he starts angry crying he hits this tone that singes my nose hair and makes my eyeballs sweat.

And on that pleasant note, I'm going to end this entry.

Because in our next entry, we're going to fix it in what will be a new occasional entry on this blog, "Do-over."

Don't put your knife in the dishwasher.